Nada’s Story

Nada told us: “In my own thoughts, I wasn’t sure if I was doing the right thing for mum to move her from the hospital to the hospice. I recall saying to the nurse at the hospital ‘no, no, no’. But then she said to me, don’t be misled by what I think it will be like – think of it as a retreat. Mum will be able to rest, have her own room, eat what she wants, and there’s no pressure. She said ‘trust me’ and I knew I just had to give it a try for mum.

“Everything changed as soon as I set my feet on the ground after getting out of the taxi. I just knew she was in the right place. The grounds, the gardens, the care for both mum and me. The hospice represents such a happy time with my mum. They were, and are still to me, a very important team, and I value them so much.”

Chatting to Nada, it was clear just how valued the different team members were. Remembering many by name – Christine (Social Worker), Dr Ellie (Lead Hospice Doctor), Paula (Health Care Assistant), Gary (Health Care Assistant), Lyn (Clinical Administrator).

Nada adds, “I’d had no experience of hospice care before. None of my other relatives had been in a hospice, and none of my friends had that experience either. I was all geared up to move up north to look after mum myself. When I witnessed the level of care here – it was on another level – it was just so different. The hospice delivers care that is so unique. It’s hard to put it into words. There was so much affection – both received and given. The love given to mum, also felt like love being given to me.

“When the team knew I was coming up from London, they helped mum to do her hair and put some make-up on, as she wanted to look her best for me. The catering team would make her salads as per her wishes. Nothing was a trouble, and everyone went above and beyond at every single turn. They’d say ‘it’s just my job’, but it never felt like that.”

“I was so well cared for too. I was sleeping beside mum and had quilts, teas, coffees, comfort. The team would always be checking if I’d eaten anything. I witnessed the calm, quiet moments at 3 am when the nurses would pop in to check on mum. Everything was so gentle all the time, and each task was completed with amazing sensitivity.

“Mum loved birds, and my brother had brought some books for her room. Dr Ellie had noticed this and was in mum’s room when she spotted a gardener outside. She excused herself, stepped out of the big glass doors to the gardens and spoke with the gardener. Minutes later, a large, beautiful bird feeder was relocated to be in full view of mum’s windows. It was such a little thing, but so lovely.

“Dr Ellie also caught me in a corridor when I thought I might collapse. I wanted to be by mum’s side, but wasn’t getting much sleep. Dr Ellie told me I must look after myself too and offered such comforting emotional care and support. It was clear that the team were so well experienced and I felt lucky to be on this journey with mum.  I am the youngest of three siblings, perhaps the most emotional, as I had naturally been shielded from things when growing up. St Cuthbert’s offered extraordinary comfort to me at the time that the closest person to me was at their most vulnerable. We were safe. We were cared for.”

Rosemary had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer after a lesion was found. Nada described her as being an adventurous person with a zest for life. She had once lived in Turkey for six years with her sister. She loved to travel and moved to Durham after falling in love with the villages here. Rosemary died peacefully at St Cuthbert’s, which was a great comfort to her family.

Nada recalls: “Mum didn’t talk about problems. She was 89 ½ and had such grace. It was like she decided to just ride the wave, and she was going to do it with a smile on her face and no fuss. Mum once said to me, ‘Sometimes things aren’t easy, but if you have love, then it makes it easier.’ I knew things were going to be ok because we had love. The hospice became a happy place for me, and always will be.”